Feelings

Hi, old friend.
I know I haven't been updating since forever.
Many things that are worth to be written as stories happened during this semester
but I kept them all to myself.
As I grow older, I realized some memories are not meant to be shared.
Even the good ones.

However, am having emotional swing these few days.
It is too much to bear thus I have to pour some out.

Humans are pathetic animals.
We are always told to appreciate every moment and thing.
We know but we never do, until the time when we have to let something go.

Throughout my 3 years in KK,
I had never appreciated anything that is related to this city.
I had always thought that Peninsular Malaysia is better to be lived in.
I even regretted choosing a course to be studied in KK
because taking flights 6 times every year is a major pain in the ass.
Now that I will be leaving in a few days time,
this time probably forever,
makes me feel a little blue and sad.

Now I realized how lucky I was to be given a chance to be here in KK.
A chance to grow up, to be brave, to explore a new city and culture.
I was the only one among my groups of close friends who study so far away from home.
If I were given a course in peninsular,
I guess I would never have noticed how beautiful KK is
because I would never even consider to travel here.
Islands with clear water in the most amazing shades of blue,
the long roads along the coast of the city lighted with beautiful street lights,
awesome beaches with the most beautiful sunset I'd ever seen,
and the romantic hangout spots all over the city.
I doubt I will forget all these.
Even the Starbucks store that I completed almost all my assignments in,
the nearest mall that all of us claimed to be so bored of because we go there almost everyday,
the Italian restaurant that we always go for birthday and post-exam celebrations
and the pork noodle that we eat every 3 days.
Now I find it so difficult to let go even these boring routines.

Last night, on the way home after a movie,
when I was enjoying the pretty lights along the long coast of the city,
everything came to me all of a sudden,
that it was my last movie here in KK,
my last chance to watch the lights like I always do when I go home from town,
my last outing with my friend in this city,
these few days will be my last chance to hang out with the MCA as course mates,
and that I have to start packing today.

It is not like I am not coming back to KK again,
in fact, I will be back in October for my convocation.
But that time it would feel like a vacation rather than feeling that I am a part of the city.
All these beautiful things in life will all be in my past.
Which is devastating to be thought of.
Course mates will be having their new lives all over the country.
Gathering every year? Mehh.
Eventually the number of attendants will be lesser and lesser every year
until nobody bothers to have any meeting.

Despite all these, life still goes on.
Human's mind is one of the most complicated shit ever.
I am reluctant to let go of the past,
but another part of me is looking forward to the new life awaiting ahead.
Will be staying in a new city that I am totally unfamiliar with,
having new housemates and friends and new routines.
A new relationship too, perhaps? Haha.

Now all I can do is cherish every tiny bit of moment in life
and carve it in my head
so when I think of all these when I am old,
I can still laugh at all the silly acts and thoughts,
and remember the warmth of our friendship.

:)